In my shamanic coaching practice, I often meet people who feel stuck in an endless loop of restructuring their lives, projects, or routines. They set up new systems, change their plans, and redefine their goals—only to start over again shortly after. In this article I will share a coaching journey of a client I recently worked with, let’s call her Elena. She told me:
“I guess I was never really taught how to achieve things in this world. My father was absent, and I had to figure everything out on my own. I feel like I’m chaotic, always restructuring things, trying to create order, but it never really helps. I just want to move forward.”
Elena’s words struck a chord. Her pattern of constant restructuring wasn’t random—it was deeply tied to her past experiences, emotions, and subconscious beliefs.
Why We Keep Restructuring Our Lives
Let me explain a couple of things to you, before I tell you more about Elenas shamanic coaching journey. There are many reasons why someone might feel the need to constantly change and reorganize their external world. And with time I figured out that often this behavior isn’t about simple indecisiveness but about deeper psychological and energetic patterns.
1. The Need for Control
For Elena, restructuring was a way to gain a sense of control in a world that had often felt unpredictable. Growing up without clear guidance, she had to create her own structure from scratch. When life feels uncertain, constantly adjusting our environment, plans, or routines can create the illusion of stability.
2. Perfectionism & Fear of Commitment
Elena also struggled with an underlying belief that she needed to find the perfect way forward before she could commit. She would start something, feel like it wasn’t quite right, and then begin again. This is a common pattern in people who fear making mistakes—restructuring becomes a way to delay taking real action.
3. Identity Shifts & Personal Growth
As we evolve, our goals and priorities naturally shift. For Elena, her restructuring was partly a reflection of this inner transformation. The problem wasn’t the change itself but the fact that she was constantly resetting rather than building upon what she had already created.
4. Lack of a Clear Core Vision
One of the biggest realizations in our sessions was that Elena didn’t have a strong, guiding vision. She had many ideas, but no clear direction, which made it easy to keep rearranging things without actually moving forward. Without a strong inner compass, restructuring becomes an endless cycle.
5. Emotional Avoidance
When we started working with deeper emotions, it became clear that Elena’s pattern wasn’t just about structure—it was also about avoiding discomfort. Moving forward meant facing unresolved fears, doubts, and vulnerabilities. Restructuring kept her busy but prevented her from confronting the real emotional work.
6. A Conflict Between Freedom & Structure
Elena valued freedom, yet at the same time, she longed for stability. This is a very common struggle. This inner conflict created a push-and-pull dynamic: whenever she created structure, another part of her, we called it “the saboteur” wanted to break free from it. As you can imagine, this made it impossible to stick to any plan for long…
How to Find Stability Without Losing Flexibility?
Through our sessions, Elena began to work on balancing structure and flow in her life. Some of the key strategies that helped her—and might help you too—include:
Defining a Clear Core Vision – Instead of constantly reworking the details, focus on the bigger purpose behind your goals.
Setting Time Frames for Restructuring – Give yourself permission to adjust things, but set a schedule (e.g., review your plans every three months rather than constantly shifting them).
Parts Integration Work – If different parts of you are pulling in opposite directions (freedom vs. structure), work on integrating them rather than letting them battle each other.
Grounding Creative Energy – Engage in embodiment practices like movement, nature walks, or rituals to help anchor your ideas into reality.
Identifying Emotional Roots – Ask yourself, “What am I avoiding by restructuring again?” Sometimes, the key is to address the deeper emotional blocks rather than just the external systems.
Energetic Clearing & Shamanic Work – If restructuring feels like a compulsion, it may be connected to ancestral patterns or energy imbalances. Working on these deeper layers can create a profound shift.
Moving from Chaos to Momentum
By the end of our coaching journey, Elena had shifted from endless restructuring to real progress. She still allowed herself flexibility, but now she recognized when she was restructuring for growth versus when she was using it as a form of avoidance.
If you find yourself stuck in a similar cycle, know that it’s not about forcing yourself to stop restructuring—it’s about understanding why you do it and creating a balance that works for you. You can book a shamanic coaching session with me here.
Where do you see yourself in this? Are you using restructuring as a tool for growth, or is it keeping you from moving forward? And then take a moment to reflect: What is one small step you can take today to create stability from within?
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